By the time you’re a grown man, you’ve probably (hopefully) nailed the basic functions that fall under the category of using your mouth to please a woman. You fancy yourself an excellent kisser, give oral like a self-proclaimed pro and even use your tongue to probe obvious areas like the nipple or clit.
But are you really using your mouth to its full potential when you’re getting down and dirty? We asked a few experts to weigh in on the mouth-centric acts that all men should be readily practicing between the sheets.
Make sure your mouth is showing some love to more than just the tip of the clit, sex therapist Dr. Kat Van Kirk recommends. “The clitoris actually extends in a wishbone shape under the vagina lips,” so be sure to extend your efforts accordingly.
Now that you know not to neglect the whole clit, you need to know how to warm it up, so to speak. “For most women, the clitoris is really sensitive,” sex therapist Vanessa Marin explains, “and requires extra care when you’re just starting [oral].” Marin says to try keeping your tongue wide and flat, making long, slow licks from the bottom to the top, lingering on the clitoris for an extra second.
Analingus is the new cunnilingus, says sex therapist Dr. Kat Van Kirk. “Women are finding how turned on they get with oral anal play.” To give the proper rim job, Dr. Van Kirk says to use your mouth to bite, lick and suck around the opening of the butthole, then trace your tongue up her crack to kiss her lower back. Once you go crack you’ll most definitely be back.
There are so many little things you can do with your mouth to build up to the main event. Instead of going right down on your lady, psychologist Dr. Rachel Needle suggests that you tease her by running your lips up and down her inner thigh. “Start with a little lick here, working down her stomach and up her thighs. Then put your lips together and gently blow.”
It’s a fact — adding dirty talk to your sex routine leads to longer, harder and more frequent orgasms for your lady, according to relationship expert and author of Screwing The Rules Laurel House. “In fact,” House says, “the guy should do 95% of the talking. It will instantly change your s*x life.”
If you’re a grown-ass man, not only should you be opening your mouth to tell your partner what she’s doing right, but also to ask for suggestions on what you could do to make things even more mind blowing for the both of you. “Express pleasure, give guidance and ask questions to ensure you’re pleasing her,” says sex expert Elly Klein. “Also (when you’re not having sex) you should talk about what you want in bed to make sure you’re both on the same page.”
When it comes to using your mouth to show your woman’s body some love, you probably go for the obvious parts: Her mouth, the nipples, neck and possibly earlobes. But sex expert Elly Klein says that you may be neglecting some pretty important parts. To avoid skipping out on the spots that might be particularly pleasurable for her, Klein says to use your mouth to give your girl the full body experience. “Try kissing her entire back — every inch! She’ll be putty in your hands.”
It’s pretty crazy how such a small move can instantly send ripples of pleasure pulsing through your body, but the earlobe graze does just that. “Sweep your lips over her ear,” says sex expert Angel Snow, “barely touching it to create waves of goosebumps.”
Of course, you don’t want to go in on the clit full force right off the bat. But for a grand fellatio finale, sex columnist Lora Somoza says that creating some strong suction around the clit is the best way to put your woman over the edge. “Concentrate more on gentle suction on the clit” she says, “then use strong, flat steady strokes [with your tongue].”
When you’re giving the nipple some mouth action, sex expert Angel Snow says to start where your lady’s breast meets her ribcage. “Stay away from her nipples,” Snow says, “and she’ll be begging for you to move your mouth to please her there. Many women can have a ‘nipplegasm’ (an orgasm induced solely from nipple play) when you tease like this.”