Adulting is tough…that ain’t no secret!
But that’s not to mean that growing up was a walk in the park either. I have a ton of memories about growing up, some…absolutely amazing! Others…not so much!
Here are things Kenyan kids hated with a passion when growing up:
1. First day of school.
If you did not cry your heart out and try to pass under the teacher’s legs trying to run after your mother when she left you on your first day of school, surely! Are you even a human being?
Image: Twitter/ @KReseacher- Kenyan Facts
2. Speaking of school…homework.
I was always one of those kids that really struggled to finish homework and pretended that I forgot the book at home. Especially learning the multiplication table! Damn!
3. Being sent around.
If you’re the last born and had elder siblings growing up, then you can recall how you were the one being sent around like a bloody messenger from “ambia daddy tunataka mkate” to “enda kwa shop, uniletee kiberiti” and we would run to the shop rehearsing the things we were sent and if your memory was bad, you would be made to carry a written list of the things that you had been sent. The only beauty of being sent around was small rewards here and there a shilling, a piece of candy and what not.
4. Shower time.
I honestly have no idea why we dreaded shower time so much, after playing all day and coming back home with a dusty and ashy bum one would think that the only thing we craved was a nice shower but lo! Shower time was by force.
5. Finishing food.
Maybe not all Kenyan kids hated food. Personally, I was such a poor eater. And the worst part is that the way I was brought up, I had no right to say what I wanted to eat. If ugali and sukuma was the meal everyone else was eating, I had to eat and finish. African parents though…smh.
6. Wearing a boshori.
Heavy sweaters and boshori 24/7, because? Pneumonia is real. Haha.
Image: Mummy Tales
7. Being woken up to pee so as not to soil the bed.
First, we would refuse to go to bed, end up sleeping on the couch only to wake up magically in the bed. But that wasn’t the big deal. If you’re like me, then you learned how to stop wetting the bed the hard way…by being woken up to pee in the middle of the night. Tragic!
8. Being told not to play with so and so and they were part of the squad.
“Nikuone na huyo Kamau tena”…eish! That was such a mood kill cause then you were kind of grounded and could not go out to play.
9. When your parents refused to buy you a BMX bike or mountain bike.
BMX was the hover board of those days. All the cool kids had either a BMX or a mountain bike. And the folks used to tell us “Ukikua number 1 nitakununulia BMX.”
10. Being punished.
From pinches to being beaten with a mwiko, belt and slippers to inner thigh pinches-those were THE WORST! Eh! Discipline was definitely instilled in us properly. We hated it, but it was important…see, we turned out great right?
11. Not getting new clothes on Christmas day.
No new dress or suit to stunt on your neighbors and friends? That was the biggest crime our parents could commit.
12. If you had smaller siblings, being told to go with them somewhere.
“Mum amesema kama huendi na mimi hakuna mahali unaneda”.
13. And speaking of siblings…
Did your mum ever make you match clothes with your siblings like twins? Sigh…tailors really benefitted those days by making clothes in doubles and triples.
14. Brushing teeth.
I will never understand why we hated brushing teeth so much.
15. Getting hair did.
For boys, getting a haircut was the worst thing you could subject your son to. Even worse for the girls when we had to get cornrows and be subjected to the pain and suffocate between the legs of the hairdresser.
16. Being forced by your mum to tell the guests a poem or sing a song.
And we would shy our way into the living room to recite “Elephant” the poem.
17. Waking up early on Sundays for Sunday school.
If you couldn’t find your Sunday best woe unto you!