Home is where the heart is, and that home is Kenya.
East or west, Kenya always has a special place in our hearts. Whether you‘ve been born and raised here or you were born here and raised in another country or you’re a foreigner who decided to relocate here, there are things that we love to do.
Here are some 13 traits that just scream, ‘You’re a Kenyan!’
1. Your stories start with ‘Ebu imagine’ and ‘me I’.
We all know the juiciest and most ratchet stories start with ‘Aki imagine what she did’ or ‘Ebu come I tell you’.
2. Bargaining is in your blood
Kenyans can get discounts out of anything, even veggies from a mama mboga. Many of us like to shop for second-hand clothes and shoes and this has made our bargaining skills be world class.
3. A week can’t pass by without visiting your local
A local doesn’t necessarily mean a club or pub. It can be your nyama choma joint, your mutura base or restaurant. The fact is, Kenyans loooovvveee their meat and beer and nothing can ever shake the love they have for some of these delicacies.
4. Saying goodbye is way too hard
Have you ever noticed how saying goodbye to your friends at the stage is hard? Ironically enough that’s where your stories get more exciting and you end up spending an extra hour talking about anything and everything.
5. Getting stuffed by your friend’s mum when you visit
This actually applies even to relatives. You enter their home and suddenly you’re too skinny and need to be fed immediately. Don’t be surprised when they even pack some extra food for you to eat on the way home. No visit is complete without drinking some tea.
6. You’re used to the traffic now
You’re no longer shocked when you get stuck in traffic for hours. You’ll be angry but you’ll never be shocked ever again. You even have a jam survival kit, including flat shoes for the ladies just in case you have to get out and walk. And of course, there are those hawkers ready and willing to sell you food, spare parts, toys etc.
7. Power rationing and water cuts are nothing new to us
Many a time we’ve had to succumb to candle-lit dinners and showering from a bucket with cold water. Now we that even investing in solar lanterns we no longer have to keep budgeting for candles.
8. You can comfortable eat almost anything while walking
From mutura to yogurt to mahindi choma, Kenyans can eat almost anything as they walk.
9. You’ve run away from the landlord and the guys from KPLC more than once
Sometimes you just don’t have the rent ready or have the electricity bill paid on time so you play cat and mouse games with the landlord and KPLC.
10. You have a working knowledge of where to easily get pickpocketed
You already know where to be extra cautious when you’re texting or calling and you know you can’t show signs of having valuables near Bus station, Muthurwa or OTC.
11. You have that one shopkeeper/mama mboga/cleaning lady that you trust with your life
They give you stuff you desperately need in advance or they let you take some things on credit. For the cleaning lady, you can leave your house keys with them and they take care of you. These guys are the real MVPs!
12. You have a taxi guy/nduthi guy on speed dial
These guys always save the day and most of us have a number of two saved on speed dial especially for emergencies. The good thing is they know you so if you don’t have money you will pay them the next time you see them.
13. Sometimes we are divided along tribal or economic lines…But anytime the Kenyan athletes are doing their magic we support them together.
Deep down, you’ll always love Kenya even though sometimes the politicians try to divide us.