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Guys, Here’s How You Can Leave The Dreaded Friend Zone

The friend zone is one dreaded terrain for guys. It simply means that the person you desire or want to have a romantic association with, only sees you as a friend.

It’s not a good area as you get to see them flirt with other people and sometimes even tell you their crushes and stuff. If you’re a guy in the friend zone, don’t worry, there’s still hope.

Here are ways you can switch things up and escape the friend zone.

1. What Are Your True Feelings?

Before you decide to switch things up, you may need to ask yourself this question. Is what you’re feeling for her real or just a passing thing? When we spend more time with somebody, we naturally get attracted to them and this makes us believe we have fallen in love or are falling in love. Ask yourself this question and probe your feelings for her before making any move as any false start has the tendency of ruining your friendship.

couple date friends cute

Photo: PenciledCelebrities/Ray Styles’s Hand

2. Find Out If the Feeling Is Mutual From Friends.

Talk to your mutual friends and find out how your she feels about you. Definitely, if the person feels the same way, your common friends will know and that’ll be the signal you need to make your move. Your mutual friends will also be able to tell you if pursuing your romantic agenda is a good move or one that’ll ruin your friendship.


3. Move Away From Being One Of Her Casual Friends.

So now you’ve decided to pursue your romantic agenda, nice. Begin to interact with her beyond the casual way you used to do. Invite her to do stuff she enjoys, like playing a game, riding a bicycle, mountain climbing etc. All this gives you the opportunity to be with her all alone. The catch here is to try and spend more time with her alone so you can subtly show her your true feelings.

4. Don’t be Afraid to talk About Sex In Her Presence.

One thing guys do which leaves them perpetually condemned to the pit of friend zone is the fear to talk about sex in the presence of their female friend. What they don’t know is that girls love sex and are attracted to guys wo are bold to talk about sex. Once you’re comfortable talking about sex in front of her, she’ll begin to think that you’re a cool guy and naïve.

Black couple in bed

Image: HowAfrica

5. Stop Being Her Girlfriend.

A lot of guys are in the friend zone because they behave like girlfriends of their female friend. Stop being the guy she talks to when she has man issues, stop being the one who holds her purse while she dances with other guys, stop being the one who gives her relationship advice even though he wants to date her. Be direct with your intentions towards her so she can have a different perspective about you.

black couple sad

Photo: Bossip

6. Don’t Rush, Take Things One Step At A Time.

One thing many fail to appreciate in their effort to leave the friend zone is by pushing too hard which may scare the lady away. What you must understand is that you can’t expect a very long time of platonic friendship to just graduate to a romantic one just like that, it takes time. Start with some casual dates, probably a movie night or ice cream hangout, then later on to a more formal one when the time is right. Let your feelings also be seen in your actions and let your gestures become flirty, playful and obvious. Pay her genuine compliments which will allow her to begin to see you in a new light.

Couple having dinner. Image credit

7. Let Her Miss You.

You’re where you are because she sees you almost every time. You’re at her beck and call. Disappear on her for a while, stop calling or texting, stop going over and see what happens. Ladies are curious by nature therefore when she doesn’t see or hear from you, she’ll begin to feel a void in her life and will wonder why you’re changing. She’ll wonder if you’ve found someone else and this will make her miss you and she’ll now call to check up on you, find out what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with.

8. Ask A Friend To Put In A Word For You.

We all have friends whose opinions we respect. If you feel you want to be romantic with your friend, just speak to one of her closest friends and let her put in a word for you. Passing comments to suggest to her how you two look cute together and stuff like that will go a long way to change how she sees you. She’ll begin to see you in a different light. Plus, that friend can also reveal to you if your friend also feels the same way or what her fears about hooking up with you are. All these you can use to your advantage.


9. Break The Touch Barrier.

Naturally, physical contact is an indication of intimacy. There is a difference between how friends touch each other and lovers touch each other. Lovers tend to touch in a more suggestive and flirtatious manner so the next time you’re with your friend, touch the small of her back when she walks through the door ahead of you. Gentle hold her hand while you’re walking together or gentle place her hand in your palm and rub the back of her hand it when she’s down. These subtle touches will eventually force her to begin to see you in a different light than a mere friend which is your goal.

couple on date

Photo: EL.Carna/Facebook

10. Express Your Feelings To Her.

Timing is very important when it comes to this part. Whether you’ve waited and gone through the steps above or you just want to go straight away to express your feelings, make sure the time is right. Do not go telling her how you feel when she just got out of a relationship and still brooding. Do not say it when she’s obviously stressed. Make sure both of you are alone and in an open conversation. Begin by letting them know you don’t expect them to feel awkward or think about how your friendship will change but you just need to get things off your chest. Honestly pour out your feelings to her while looking her in the eye. You can even hold her hand while doing this.


Photo: Poka Arts/Instagram

11. Interpret Her Reaction Towards The New You.

Relationships are all about mutual feelings, therefore, while you’re on the quest to change your association with your friend to a romantic one, try to interpret her behavior towards your subtle messages through words and gestures. For instance, does she respond positively when you touch her, does she touch you back, has her chats with you moved from casual to a bit more romantic or she still interacts with you as a mere friend.

love couple relationship

Image: El Carna

12. Stop Following And Lead.

Women are naturally attracted to men who lead. when you take every instruction she gives and you act based on what she says or wants, she’ll begin to see you less of a man and that’s what leads to the friend zone. So to get out, begin to act like a man by making the decisions. Be in charge and she’ll begin to realize you’re a full fledged man.