Nigerian twitter is one of my favorite places. Not because I like to tweet as much but because I like to go there and read whatever it is that is being discussed for the day. Sometimes there is something worth it, sometimes, there is nothing to waste your time on.
One of the most recurring trending topics on there however is the way a woman should behave when she is in a relationship or when she is about to land a man. I will not delve into the ridiculous and stereotypical bs that I am sure guys that are underage tweet (or use their Dad’s phones for).
One thing I would like to discuss for the purpose of this article is the huge compromises and sacrifices I have noticed women of all ages are expected to make. Compromises and sacrifices that stem the need for stupid and insensitive memes.
Compromise is great, making sacrifices is beautiful but anything that makes you uncomfortable and makes you unhappy is no more compromise/sacrifice, it is becoming poison.
Here are things you should NEVER do for a man simply because you are in a relationship with him.
A certain sex position
I have heard lots of girls discuss their sexual encounter and then punctuate it with, “I didn’t really like it but I did it because he likes it” and I wonder, shouldn’t you be doing what you both love?
It is okay to try a particular sex position once or twice because your man likes it but not more than that. He needs to understand you do not like it, that it makes you uncomfortable and you cannot compromise all the time for his sexual pleasure.
Getting a tattoo
So you are dating a guy who is into things like tattoos and as much as everything you believe in and stands for kicks against it, this guy wants you to get one. Getting inked is something you really want to think about before doing it, especially if you are getting this guy’s name on your body.
You should only get tattoos because they are something you want not because your boyfriend is only into girls who ink themselves and because he has told you to make him happy, you have to get yourself inked.
Enjoy what he enjoys
So he loves football and he has said the only woman who can have his heart a hundred percent is one who can sit (read endure) through a football game, analyze with him and challenge him at PS.
Nobody is saying you shouldn’t watch football games with your man or that you shouldn’t analyze the game with him if you dig it that much but you must be doing all these things because you enjoy them. Don’t do them because he has sworn that is the only way you can own all of him, don’t do it because he lets him give you more attention, do it for you!
Bond with all his friends and family
I specifically respect men who understand when you don’t want to be friends with all their friends and when you want to keep a casual relationship with their family. It is not mandatory for you to hangout with his friends or make his sister your bestie simply because you both are dating. What if you are not that kinda person who is a people person?
He shouldn’t force his people on you. Friendship grows anyway and he should respect that.
Telling you to hit the gym
Something is wrong with your weight? So what? So if you wanna lose the extra stomach fat, you lose it because you want to. Not because your man complains about it all day and night.
Hit the gym cos you feel like it and you want it not because your man insists on it.
Your whole style
Your hair, your fashion style, your whole closet should be all you. Its okay if he buys you stuff that are slightly different from your style or pleads with you to wear a certain outfit to a certain place once in a while. What is not okay is for him to insist on you changing your whole appearance.
This guy must have stepped up to you in the first place because he saw you this way, then why in God’s name does he want all that to go away now?
Blackmailing you into paying the bills
Pay the bills and even treat him to dinner every once in a while. Its what grown ass women do. Its not a biggie. But don’t let him trick you into believing the bullshit that you have to do this all the damn time.
Its not in your place to pick the bills, men want to be in charge and love to take care of their women. He would know that if he were a real man.
Nothing wrong with changing a few things for the one you love but the moment this person wants you to change who you are for him especially through emotional blackmail then know you are with the wrong guy.