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Daughter, 19, reveals the moment she learned her grandfather was also her FATHER after her mother suffered sexual abuse from age of 8

  • Aziza Kibibi, now 35, was raped by her father from the age of 8
  • He impregnated her five times and they had four children – including 19-year-old Arie who discovered the truth when she was 14
  • ‘I just froze,’ she said of the moment she found out
  • Kibibi’s father Aswad Ayinde, a successful music video director known for the Fugees’ Killing Me Softly, has been jailed for 50 years

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Daily Mail Reporter


PUBLISHED:

22:47 GMT, 9 December 2013


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UPDATED:

22:47 GMT, 9 December 2013

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A teenager whose mother suffered sexual abuse from the age of eight has revealed the shocking moment she learned her grandfather was also her father.

Arie Kibibi, 19, appeared on Katie Couric’s show on Monday afternoon with her mother, Aziza Kibibi, 35, who detailed the years of abuse – and five pregnancies – at the hands of her father.

Her father, Aswad Ayinde, a successful music video director best known for the Fugees’ ‘Killing Me Softly’, was sentenced to 50 years in prison in August for the sickening abuse.

Arie told Katie that, as she grew up, she repeatedly asked her mother who her father was, and all her mother would ever say was that he was someone her grandfather had approved of.

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Together: Aziza Kibibi, right, appeared on Katie Couric's show on Monday to recount years of sexual abuse at the hands of her father. She was joined by her 19-year-old daughter, Arie

Together: Aziza Kibibi, right, appeared on Katie Couric’s show on Monday to recount years of sexual abuse at the hands of her father. She was joined by her 19-year-old daughter, Arie

But ‘when I was 14, she told me,’ Arie said. ‘She said, “Your father is my father”. I just froze.’

However, she was also struck with an overwhelming sense of love and respect for her mother, who has showed extraordinary courage as she has taken control of her life.

‘When I found out what happened to my mother, I only felt more love for her,’ Arie said.

Kibibi, who grew up in Paterson, New Jersey, was just eight when she was first abused by her father.

To her, Ayinde had always been the perfect father so she trusted him when he told her he was going to teach her ‘how to be a woman’.

‘It
was overwhelming in my mind and it was overwhelming for my body,’ she
said of the rapes. ‘Inside my head I just wanted to scream out.

‘He
said that all fathers did this with their daughters and that moms
didn’t understand. He told me I was his sex slave. He told me that this
is what god put me here to do.’

Strength: Aziza Kibibi spoke out on the Katie Couric show about the years of sexual abuse she endured at the hands of her father, a successful music video producer who impregnated her five times

Strength: Aziza Kibibi spoke out on the Katie Couric show about the years of sexual abuse she endured at the hands of her father, a successful music video producer who impregnated her five times

Close: Aziza told Arie that her grandfather was also her father when she was 14 and Arie said that knowing her mother had gone through so much and survived just made her love her more

Close: Aziza told Arie that her grandfather was also her father when she was 14 and Arie said that knowing her mother had gone through so much and survived just made her love her more

She added: ‘At the time I was obeying him, and I respected him and I love him, so I did what he said.’

For
years she endured the abuse – too scared to run away in case because he
had told her he would abuse the next oldest sister instead if she went
anywhere.

When she was about 15, she walked in on her father abusing her sister, who was 11. Kibibi, who had believed she was protecting her sister by enduring the abuse, was at an even greater loss.

‘When
I saw what he was doing to her, I was heartbroken,’ Kibibi said.
‘Nothing he said could be trusted. At the same time I felt defeated.’

Throughout Kibibi’s terrifying ordeal, her mother knew what was happening, she said.

But
rather than be angry at her – then or now – Kibibi said she knew her
mother was being abused by her father and that she was probably
overwhelmed with conflicting emotions, including jealousy.

‘He
told her he was molesting me in order to help my skin condition,’
Kibibi said. ‘She complied with what he told her… I’m sure fear played
a big role in it. She was afraid of him.’

Speaking out: Aziza appeared on the Katie Couric show on Monday so other victims will not feel alone

Speaking out: Aziza appeared on the Katie Couric show on Monday so other victims will not feel alone

Harrowing: Couric asks Aziza about the years of abuse, which began when she was just eight years old

Harrowing: Couric asks Aziza about the years of abuse, which began when she was just eight years old

On
one occasion, Kibibi’s mother called the police to report her husband’s
abuse but she said that nothing was done to help her – leaving her
mother to feel alone.

‘He started to appear like this untouchable,’ she said. ‘He could get away with things. I think she just gave up.’

When she was 16, Kibibi gave birth to her first child and her father
delivered the baby girl at their home. With no apparent genetic
problems, her father was convinced that there was nothing wrong.

‘He
decided that she was going to be the beginning of a new race,’ she said. ‘He said he
understands now why royalty inbreeds, to keep the bloodline pure.’

Sickening: Aswad Ayinde was sentenced to 50 years in prison for the sexual abuse

Sickening: Aswad Ayinde was sentenced to 50 years in prison for the sexual abuse

She
went on to carry five more of his children and give birth to four. One
daughter, who suffered from two genetic diseases, passed away when she
was nine.

But the following children would not
be so lucky. Two further daughters born from her father would be
diagnosed with phenylketonuria (PKU) a disease that prevents the body
from breaking down amino acids. PKU can cause brain damage and seizures.

When she was older and one of her sons fell sick, she finally got the courage to take him to the hospital since Ayinde was out of town on a business trip.

But she didn’t know how to interact with the doctors and a social worker stepped in, alerting the Department of Youth a Family Services.

When Ayinde returned from his business trip he was enraged, and threatened to forcibly remove his son from the hospital.

Child services stepped in before he could do that and placed them in separate homes.

After that Kibibi, her mother and her sisters moved away from Ayinde as she attempted to get her children back.

Having to fight to get her children back also empowered Kibibi, and translated to her life after abuse. She now lives in East Orange, New Jersey with her husband.

She went back to school for her GED and will finish her liberal arts degree from Essex County College this fall. She also runs her own baking business and plans to start a restaurant someday.

Kibibi and her sister decided to finally bring charges against their abusive father. They delayed pressing charges since they were unsure the affect it would have on the children.

Ayinde, who is also known as Charles
McGill, was sentenced to 50 years in prison on July 26, finally ending
Kibibi’s nightmare. He has three more trials against him pending.

Kibibi was shocked when Katie Couric read out a statement from her father’s attorney, saying that he claimed he was not guilty.

No remorse: Ayinde claims he is innocent - to which his daughter says: 'I leave him to God'

No remorse: Ayinde claims he is innocent – to which his daughter says: ‘I leave him to God’

‘For him to continue to say he didn’t do any of these to things, attempting to make me look like a liar, it saddens me,’ she said. ‘But I leave him to God
ultimately.’

As for her mother, she said that there are no hard feelings there.

‘I’ve forgiven my mom,’ she said. ‘We’re actually very
close… I know she was abused. I know there has to be a lot
of conflicts there. but I know she wishes she did everything so
differently.’

While
the identities of sexual abuse victims stay protected, Kibibi decided
to step forward to share her story in order to help other victims.

‘There
are a lot of other girls and women out there that are suffering from
sexual abuse,’ she said. ‘One of the things that my father used to do to
control us was to stay quiet… As a survivor, I decided that I should
speak out.’

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