“I’m a little shaky tonight, because my heart has been hurting all day due to a condition my doctor calls ‘hope,'” Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday’s Late Show. “Through the rubble of 2017, there was a glimmer of light, because last night, Roy Moore lost to Doug Jones in Alabama.” His audience cheered. “It is the best gift ever given on the first night of Hanukkah — you’re welcome, Roy Moore’s Jewish lawyer,” Colbert joked. “Thank you, black voters. It is the best thing African Americans have done for Alabama since they built it for free.”
President Trump, who backed Moore, “tweeted something almost sportsmanlike” to Jones, Colbert said. But he predicted that Trump will end up deleting his tweets in support of Moore, just as he did with Luther Strange, “because backing a racist, homophobic teen-squeezer is one thing, but backing a loser, that’s off-brand.”
“African American women in Alabama really dealt Trump a blow last night, and Trump reached out to them today by firing his only female African-American adviser,” Omarosa Manigault Newman. “Folks, this is huge. With Omarosa gone, who’s gonna be in charge of…?” She reportedly didn’t go quietly. Colbert wasn’t sad at her departure, but he was a little disappointed that Trump let White House Chief of Staff John Kelly do the deed: “What the hell? Firing Omarosa is literally the only job Donald Trump is qualified for!”
Moore hasn’t conceded, and he’s hoping for a recount, against all odds. “But Roy Moore has one more way he thinks he could still win this Senate seat,” Colbert said: divine intervention. “So I can’t help but wonder: Is God really going to save Roy Moore’s candidacy?” “No way, Jose,” said the Late Show God. “I don’t have time for that. Besides, Roy Moore doesn’t need me — he can perform his own miracles: losing to a Democrat in Alabama.” Watch below.