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“The election is just a week away, but the White House is making news for all the wrong reasons,” a COVID-19 outbreak in Vice President Mike Pence’s inner circle, Jimmy Kimmel said on Monday’s Tonight Show. “Yeah, the only place the coronavirus is ’rounding the corner’ is in the halls of the White House.” And White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows said the Trump administration is “not going to control the pandemic,” he sighed. “They talk about COVID like it’s a wild teen on Dr. Phil.”

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Yes, “Meadows went on CNN to reassure a worried nation that you’re on your own,” Stephen Colbert said at The Late Show. But while the virus is hitting a third peak nationwide, “the most infectious part of the country is the Trump administration.” He laughed at how the White House is keeping the COVID-exposed Pence on the campaign trail by calling him an “essential worker,” and explained the administration’s proposed COVID-19 vaccine “quid pro ho ho ho” with mall Santas.

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“It’s interesting how zen Trump’s people are about this,” Trevor Noah said at The Daily Show. With migrant children, “they’re like: ‘Zero tolerance! One is too many! We have to deport!’ But with a virus that’s killing hundreds of thousands of Americans, they’re like, ‘Look, man, the virus is trying to make a better life in our lungs. Who are we to stop it?'” If you listen to Trump, though, he’s just bored of the whole COVID thing. “I can safely say that I’ve never seen a world leader get bored of a crisis,” Noah said. “But hey, shout-out to COVID for helping Trump understand what we’ve felt for the past five years every time we switch on the TV and heard his name. ‘Trump, Trump, Trump, always Trump.'”

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Jimmy Kimmel played a supercut of Trump’s “COVID, COVD, COVID” rants. “I think I’ve figured it out: He’s jealous of the virus,” he said on Kimmel Live. “He’s upset that COVID is getting more attention than he is.”

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“Election Day is eight days away, which means we’re just a few short weeks away from the Supreme Court telling us who we elected,” Seth Meyers joked, darkly, at Late Night. “At a campaign event in Maine yesterday, President Trump signed a pumpkin. So if someone could write a stimulus bill right above it, that would be great.” Watch below. Peter Weber

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