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Will Trump try to pardon himself on his way out of the White House?

“Reality is starting to peek through the windows at the White House,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Thursday’s Kimmel Live. President Trump “might be going down with the ship, but many of the rats are putting their little bathing suits on amid increasing skepticism that their boss will be able to pull another rabbit out of his MAGA hat. One reason that Trump’s advisers are so worried he might not be able to win is because he lost.”

“The big orange guy is said to be feeling blue,” Kimmel said. “POTUS is reportedly dejected and fuming, and soon he’s gonna understand what it feels like to be evicted from your home in the middle of a pandemic.” He did come up with an off-ramp for Trump, though — “Let’s make him the first president of the last frontier: Alaska. It’s big, it’s white, it’s melting down, and it has lots of crabs, just like Donald Trump!” — and imagined a sitcom where Trump and Biden both occupy the White House, like Felix and Oscar.

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“It seems like no one around the president has the nerve to tell him that he lost,” but “despite clinging to the job desperately, he’s not actually doing any of it,” Stephen Colbert said on The Late Show. And while Trump may not have a workable plan to steal the election, “he’s still asking supporters to donate to his official election defense fund.” But the catch is that unless donors fork over $8,000, most of the money goes to a new PAC Trump has set up, with few limits on how he can spend it, Colbert noted. “One last grift for the road. Before he finally leaves, someone better check under the MAGA hat for the White House silverware.”

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“My man! Donald Jobless Trump, this guy never misses a hustle,” Trevor Noah said at The Daily Show. “I mean, for anyone with brains, it looks like Donald Trump is scamming people out of their money by saying that his country wrongly kicked him out of power. And I guess I owe Donald Trump an apology, because I honestly thought he could never change, but he has: The dude went from being an African dictator to a Nigerian prince.” Peter Weber

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